The year dot plus one

Yes, I'm officially back. Aged one (and 23). I feel it's about time I continued writing my blog. After all it's almost a year since life began for me and as you do at such a young age, I've forgotten almost everything I learnt and achieved. Hence, onward and upward.






And boy has the world changed in just one year. I've worked my way into my dream job, forced the girl of my dreams into a solid commitment and jumped on the "I'm writing a novel" bandwagon, not to mention I also learnt the difference between than and then.






So, I'll see you all very soon, back here in the usual place. Let's see what this year holds.

PS: Yes, I'm attempting to write a book. All judgement, laughter and banter accepted.


- I write, therefore I am.

iPhones, girlfriends and flip-flops are all banned on planes

Did you know that among the list of things you’re not allowed to take on planes there’s lithium batteries (found in almost every Apple item since the first ever iPod), aerosol cans (just like the ones they sell in duty free before you fly) and sharp objects. Before you start asking if that includes pens, toothpicks, hair clips or just about a thousand other items you've probably carried onto a plane, it doesn’t. Apparently only knives and scissors are dangerous when it comes to airplanes.

What’s even stranger is that on Delta Airlines you are not allowed pocket knives, now does that mean you can take any knife that won't fit in your pocket? That leaves a lot of knives on the list. Confusing, no? Well, the real confusing thing is that there are several lesser known items that have been left off that really need to be added. I’ve compiled a short list of a few I think we can all agree should never be allowed on a plane.

For example; babies, which are a three fold problem on planes. They smell, they make loud noises and as soon as they reach 3 they end up kicking your seat for the duration of your flight. How about non in-ear headphones? You’ve all experienced this I am sure. There's that one guy with his music blasting way to loud for his own good, let alone the guy sitting 10 rows back from him. I mean the only positive note, sorry for the pun, is that he is going to lose his hearing within 2 years. So at least you can rest easy knowing that Karma is going to kick his ass. And these items are just the beginning. We might as well just throw the following in, after all, I’m sure we can all agree they should be banned; Flip-flops, smelly foods, flasks, FARTING (I mean come on, we’re all in a confined shared space, whoever it is just stop) BO (you know who you are) and last but def not least KELLY PESCOD. Yes that’s right, I've incriminated my own girlfriend, but then she's probably as bad as taking SARS or Uranium rods onto a plane. Even mentioning the word plane can set this poor girl off.

She’s the real reason I’m not so eager to travel back to the UK. It's not the weather, tax or Chavs that litter the streets, it’s the anguish of spending over a day locked in a 2x4 box with the world’s worst flyer.

So be aware when you next fly of the dangers that lurk at over 30,000 feet. The worst is blond, 5ft 5 and most likely popping sleeping pills. 

Anything can be art, even a blog!

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2250468/HKBlogart

The story so far.......

I'd like to say it's been easy and that you can leave Uni with a solid degree, or two, several years of experience and a pocket full of tenacity (what dreams are made of) to find yourself swamped with job offers. But this just isn't the case.

There are those that fall into jobs, but more often than not it’s because they know someone who knows someone or their Daddy's the boss. However, it's just not how the world works. And these folks never really last, trust me.

I've spent the last 7 months in Hong Kong, since the start of this blog, networking, interning, groveling, taking part in a world's greatest salesperson competition and even crying on occasion. And I can say with 100% conviction that I have not enjoyed every minute of it at all, far from it. I've enjoyed the majority of moments, but I've also never felt so lost and alone during several others.

Despite all that has happened though, I have made it and today I am more then happy.

I would encourage all those that have a dream to follow it no matter where it takes you or how hard the path is along the way. Reaching a goal, no matter how small, always makes up for the crap you’re undoubtedly going to have to face. As a great man once said "Being very good is no good. You have to be very, very, very, very, very good" (DO).

This is not the end of my blog, as the title states, "life begins at 23". I merely have the opening chapter to my memoirs.

Neglected Blog

I am very sorry for the neglected nature of my blog in recent months. I promised I would update every week. However, I have been busy. lol.

There is good news to come. I promise that!

More stories, and a re-blogging will commence soon.

I am one of the World's Greatest Salespeople, FACT!

You may have heard it on the news, you may have read it in the papers and you may have even seen my video. One things for sure though, my life will never be the same again. The past few weeks have been a real turning point. I'd like to thank everyone involved so far for their support and encouragement.

For those of you that the message has not reached, I've been engaged in a battle of the bricks; blocks of clay have been thrown and small little red lines have been drawn. The revolution has truly begun. You came in your hundreds and supported my work, when really; it’s your effort that should be congratulated. You joined the revolution; you formulated uses for a useless 19th century building aid and you have ultimately shaped this outcome. I always believed the Red Brick was not obsolete, thank you all for believing in me. Let “the power of intrinsic value” be sung from the highest rooftops.

Almost a month ago OgilvyOnes’s – search for the world’s greatest salesperson – competition began and it’s hard to believe I’ve made it to this point. Last Sat I was nominated to the top 10 “world’s greatest salespeople”, as the competition reached its second phase. It just goes to show what we can do when we rally together. The Red Brick will truly be saved thanks to Ogilvy and our revolution.

There have been highs and there have been lows, there have even been those little annoying bits in between that nobody really likes. However, the wait is not over, the end is not insight and the hard work has only just begun. Its time to pull out my ‘A’ game, write like I’ve never written before, interview like there's no tomorrow and sell sell sell. After all, MY DREAM DEPENDS ON IT.

Through the looking glass. Part 2 - The long awaited sequel

The truth is that you can’t beat a good old mishap, as long as it’s someone else in the firing line. It’s pretty obvious that as a race, humans love to see people “fail”. Most of the time it’s not cruel, it just puts your life into perspective and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside. There are plenty of YOUTUBE videos advertising this fact. Ok, so it may be a little sadomasochistic, but everyone laughs eventually, as long as ultimately the poor hapless individual is still alive and in once piece afterwards. On that note, I must inform you all of my latest “fail”.

My recent excursion to European Asia, Macau, ended with one of the scariest experiences of my life. I have an innate trust that I believe all my fellow Brits share; no matter where we travel in the world (except the Middle East of course) we will be received with open arms. This has been the case throughout my life, thanks to her Majesty’s most gracious gift; The British Passport. My Great British belief, however, came crashing down when retuning through Hong Kong immigration.

I had been slightly nervous all day about approaching the immigration desk, seeing as my holiday Visa was a month from running out and as a badly balding 23 year old man, I often get odd looks on the few occasions I am asked for ID; my driving license, passport, student card and pretty much any photo ID I have were taken around 4 years ago, when I had hair. I was expecting the usual, leading questions and dark looks, however, nothing to the extent of what happened upon handing over my passport.

From upside down, I could make out the official type the four worst words in the immigration language; STOP, PREVENT, ARRIVAL and HOLD. My heart began to race, my palms began to sweat and my head began to spin. My passport was confiscated as I was marched from the queue, told to sit in a waiting area, and left to the sole destroying darkness of my thoughts.

Anyone in a situation such as this will tell you that panic is a natural occurrence, and most will break down and spill everything for hopes of striking a deal. I managed to regain my calm, however, by telling myself that they didn’t now anything, they had no clue and in fact where probably waiting for me to say too much, and get myself in trouble. I was reminded of my Psychology degree (Game theory and the Prisoner Dilemma) and how the situation would most likely plan out.

First they make you sweat while they check your background, then they take you into a dark room where your defences are weakened by their authoritarian and overwhelming stature and potential power, where you eventually break under your own doing, and end up being deported. I had decided, however, as most good cop films have taught me, to stay quiet and figure out exactly what they knew before I said anything.

As I was taken from one very lonely place in my head, to another altogether equally lonely place in their interrogation room, I tried my hardest to keep my heart rate low and my wits about me. I was informed that they were very concerned with both the quality of my passport, and the youthful nature of my picture. I explained about the rigorous issues of genetic premature baldness, the mishap with a luggage label sticking three of the pages together, and why I was returning to Hong Kong in the first place. I told the truth, explained the situation, and after a few trick questions from several immigration officers, I was eventually let past on my own merit.

In all truthfulness there were several moments when I thought I was really in trouble, half way round the world from my family. The reality of my situation in Hong Kong and the altogether nature of being this far from home had really set in. I have never experienced homesickness, but I came close that day.

Despite all this, I will be going back to Macau, I’m just going to change all my ID photo’s and get a new passport before I contemplate any more day trips.