Oh, Suits you sir!

There comes a time in every mans life when he has to pick his first suit. It used to be that this was the making of a man; the suit would command, inspire and flaunt ambition to those in lesser attire. Then came the power tie, something Wall Street believed would inspire greatness in the eyes of the beholder. Feminists would critique, however, that the tie itself is just a representation of the phallic male symbol of power and that its presence alone was unnecessary and that any addition would be Freudian. Middle and lower, entry level, management even caught on to the trend and when the piano tie was even considered to be "a power tie" the fad was truly over.

Nowadays however the number of additions, colours, styles and fabrics can literally drive a man insane. As it is these days a mans first suit is no longer bought for his first job ( and by first job I don't mean the paper round as a teenager, that would be silly, although the tips would have probably been a little better). As childhood gets ever shorter these days its more like a boys first suit, then a mans.

My first suit was bought from ASDA "George" for my senior school, 6th form or college, depending on where in the UK you come from. It was also either year 11, 9, lower 5th or G7 depending on nothing at all and probably made up by the school you attended. I never really understood the difference or similarity between the ever complicated English schools system. Anyway.....

Today's suit can consist of trousers, jacket, waistcoat, tie, bow tie, cufflinks, shirt, pinstripe shirt, pinstripe trousers, pinstripe suit, pinstripe pinstripe pinstripe, socks (any colour as long as they are brightly coloured and in no way match anything else you have on) and of course shoes (which also don't need to match the colour of your suit). Women think they have it bad. Admittedly we only ever have to make this choice once, but then there comes the never ending array of ties that we apparently need. If there is one thing I loved about my first Suit it was that the tie was bought by the school and was identical to everyone else’s. Perhaps this would eliminate any phallic competition between men that ties allow; big knot, small knot, tight knot, long fat bit, short thin bit, visa verse, tucked in, and many more.

The whole process has become a complete farce, I like to think of myself as creative, but even with all these options you’re still just in a suit, like everyone else. Lets be honest, who is ever actually comfortable in one of these. In meetings we take the jackets of because its impossible to write anything with them on, in the summer we don't even wear ties and you're always going to get the staff fool wearing all pinstripes with a stripy tie!

Why not just wear nice smart trouser, like chinos or smart jeans, and a collared shirt. Most creative agencies do. It’s comfortable, smart and no way near so much of a bother. Don't get me wrong, I loved my first suit, and I love my University Tie, it made me feel part of something but when it comes to actually doing work, being creative and comfortable enough to allow me to perform at work, I'd rather not wear a suit.

When everyone and anyone can wear a suit, and the meaningfulness of wearing one is thus lost, why wear one at all. I say not wearing a suit suits me perfectly.

Job losses, death's, theft's and bruises

Someone once told me that life will keep throwing up road blocks, you just have to know that you can drive straight through them.

Despite this however, I always thought there would be a breaking point, I mean we all have our limits. Alexander McQueen committed suicide when his mother died, Heath Ledger overdosed trying to find perfection and even Hitler committed suicide eventually, all be it too late if you ask me.

The thing is, I never seem to reach the end of my tether. I've not been through anything especially tragic, just the usual; cheating girlfriends, job losses, deaths, thefts and bruises. I seem to go through life getting small kicks and hits and after each one I feel sad, but I bounce back. I don't understand why I keep bouncing back, I just do. After each new small tragedy I just seem to take it on the chin, and get over it.

But then I think, why am I just taking this so casually, why don't I get worked up, why don't I hit something, exploded, cry, or even drink?

There is only one answer, "its all relative, even if we don't understand, its all understood" (Jack Johnson - Its all understood)

I continually hold out for that good event, the one Karma keeps me believing will come around. The thing is, I'm getting closer to asking if that's all we ever do. Are we always holding out for that one moment in our lives when we can say it has all been worth it? Because if we are, what happens after that. After all it's all relative, its only a good event because we have bad events to compare them with.

Karma has taught me that there is a definite balance between everything in the universe. Ultimately it can be simplified down to good and bad things, although these definitions are unendingly more complex.

We experience something good, and we experience something bad, they balance each other out eventually, all be it randomly and unpredictably. At its most basic it's like tossing a coin, you're either going to get a head or a tail, and eventually if tossed enough times you'll end up with 50% of each (many would argue that its more like 40:60, but thats an entirely different debate).

So when we reach this one moment we strive for, we are inevitably just going to experience the exact opposite somewhere further down the line to balance it out. Seeing as this balance will never end until we die, there is no ultimate high without an ultimate low.

So I say look out for all the high's rather then just that one big one. We all experience the lows, big or small, but we rarely appreciate anything but the big high's.

So yes, once again life has kicked me in the teeth, but it's the knowledge that something good is certain to happen, no matter how small, that is keeping me going.

Always celebrate the good things, no matter how small; from arriving at the bus stop just as the bus arrives, to getting the perfect job. Ultimately life will kick you in the teeth, MULTIPLE times. Finding the happiness in life is hard but it can be found none the less.

Finally life begins

A birthday's a birthday no matter where you are. No matter the location you’re always a year old, a year wiser and a year sicker.

23 birthdays behind me and I’m still ill after a couple of birthday drinks. I think it’s safe to say no matter how old and wise you get, you’re never impenetrable to the effects of alcohol. What does change however, are the excuses.

It wasn’t officially my birthday on Sat, but with my first rugby game in 6 years and the success of finally making enough friends to have a party, it felt just right to suggest a celebration. That is until of course you’ve experiences the mixed efforts of an entire rugby team enforcing both an initiation ceremony and a birthday celebration simultaneously upon you. I could debate the meaning of ceremony that is attached to a rugby initiation; its lack of finesse, its deficit of order, its irrational malice, but then the first rule of an initiation is “DON’T QUESTION THE INITIATION”.

There are so many things I could tell you about how wrong that night was, how any drink that you set on fire should not be a means to an ends and a hangover is not an end that justifies any means whatsoever, but there are more important facts that must be presented.

Firstly – Joining a sports club in Hong Kong is the fastest and finest way to make friends. Nothing beats being part of a team; being required, needed and respected. At the same time however, it’s also one of the scariest and loneliest things you can do. In my situation I was on my own going to training, knowing no one, and having to get up close and personal with 14 other men in a sport, that to any outsider would seem barbaric in nature. It’s a good thing I’ve spent that last 4 years hitting people for fun on the American Football pitch. The same game without pads however, is an entirely new thrill.

Secondly – You never feel pain, or at least until both the affects of alcohol and adrenaline have worn off the next day. It is around that time you figure out you experiencing a minor concussion rather then just a bad hangover. At least it means I can be kicked in the eye many more times, jut as long as I am either drunk, or on the pitch in an adrenaline fuelled high. It won’t however stop it hurting for the next week.

Thirdly – You can get a job, you can have loads of money, and you can stay in a house on the Peak (for the time being at least), go where only the famous people go, but when you’re sitting at home, with nothing to do, twiddling your thumbs and stitching your own jeans it finally hits you. Life really is nothing without Friends.

Friends make everything, they made Durham, they mate the SAINTS, and they officially make Hong Kong feel like home for me. I thank all my friends for the best birthday I could ask for and anyone could ask for, starting out in a new country, with a new job, a new club, a new sport and a NEW LIFE, aged 23.

Life before life began.

I've been in HK for over 2 months now so some might say this blog is a Little behind the times. I've been thinking about writing since I got out here, but its never really happened until now. Don't worry its a long story short.

So England, why would anyone leave? Or more to the point why would anyone stay? At University people always ask 2 really important questions when you first meet.

1 - What grades did you get at A level?
2 - Where do you come from?

If your asking a girl however there are two additional questions one should consider as a fresher;

3 - What course are you on? (So I can sit next to you and flirt instead of learn)
4 - What halls are you in? (If your within walking distance then we can be friends)

The funny thing is, students only ever ask names after all this faf, and believe me when your in your 4th year, having to answer questions about A levels really is a FAF. Its almost as bad as having to answer the second question. Trust me, trying to explain to anyone who lives in the north were Surrey is is like trying to tell the difference between whisky and Scotch. I eventually just say London, although its 2 hours outside, its a good reference point and it shuts people up.

I quickly learnt that at Uni where your from is very important, so after many a boring explanation about how I'm not actually from London, and my name isn't actually "JD" its just my initials, after the "R" of course, I gave up and decided to embrace my Scottish heritage instead. Its closer to the north and so easier to explain location wise, and everyone from outside the UK doesn't hate you for being British, they love you for being Scottish and for putting up with the British.

I am sure everyone reinvents themselves when they go to Uni. I changed my name from Richard to "JD" and bought a Kilt. I must point out I have never actually been called Richard by anyone except my parents, I was always called by my last name at school. When your named after an Australian toilet ( a Dunnies) you can see why I decided a change was needed.

After all this and with University and school behind me the only thing left is a Job, or travel the world. I would have chosen the latter, only I've spent near on 30k on Uni so it be best to stop spending. After three solid months of job hunting after Uni, and two years on On/Off hunting at Uni, I gave up. Hitting the job market in the middle of the worst recession in history really makes a man out of a mouse.

When I left Uni after my Undergrad I was a Mouse, scared of work, and what to do. Thankfully however after my more successful postgraduate degree, the recession had made a man out of me. Still nothing could have solved the fact that England has nothing to offer. My parents don't even live there anymore. There are many reasons why I embrace my Scottish side, and its mainly because I just don't enjoy being British. Its too homely, behind the times, full of memories of an old life and generally just to "British". I felt it was time to move on, and why not Hong Kong.

The opportunity arose and I took it with both hands, and so here I am. Scared out of my mind whether I have made the right decision. At least I don't miss England.

Truth be told Its my friends I miss. They made University what University is, and I miss University. When I left school for Uni I couldn't wait to get a job and have money and a career, its University that changed my mind, got me to slow down and become less focused on life. As my Birthday approaches I find myself longing for the fresher experience again, asking the 4 questions, having 3 years to put off starting my life once more.

University should ready you for life to begin, its left me asking if I'm ready to begin my life?

True learning begins when University ends.

When I passed my driving test at the ripe old age of 17, I thought I knew everything. I sat in the driving seat with a smile one my face from ear to ear. Soon my hopes and dreams of traveling the country were quashed however, as my father offered me the following statement.

"You've passed your test, so now I'm going to teach you how to drive"

My father had been told the same by his father, as his father had told him, for as far back as it was possible to drive. Seeing as my father is rather old, it might have only been two generations, however, the statement still holds true today, and not just for driving.

Now that I have finished Uni, I have only started to learn about life. Uni has given me the understanding, but its applying it to the real world that's hard. You cant be taught this and its a shock for everyone. trust me, many people wont admit it, but the first thing a graduate feels when he leaves Uni isn't relief, gratification or joy, its the dreaded thought "holy hell what am I gonna do with my life". its the reason I went back to Uni for a post grad degree, because life is just to scary and Uni provides a safe haven, where you don't have to think about anything past your next essay or club social. There are those that have jobs straight out of Uni, but they are few and far between, especially this year.

Despite all of this its time for me to finally find my place in the world. Its that or a PHD. I'll get on to the reason I've had to travel half way round the world to do it in a later post, but for now, I'd like to thank my father.

Uni has finished and its time I started learning.

I turn 23 next week, I'm in Hong Kong, and with; 2 degrees, 3 A levels, 4 As Levels, 9 GCSE and a BTEC, my life has truly begun.